The Upstander Effect

Welcome to //The Upstander Effect:// a narrative simulation game. Have you been in a situation where you witnessed gender-based violence happen in front of you – and had no idea how to proceed? This is pretty common – ''the bystander effect'' affects 60-70% of people and renders them passive in such a situation. Building a network of people that can take action in situations like this goes a long way in creating a more resilient and responsive society. Congratulations on taking the first step! In this game, you roleplay as someone witnessing an act of gender-based violence happen in front of you. Through the game, you will learn what tactics work and what don't in these situations. (link-repeat: 'Continue')[(track: 'streetsounds','play')(goto: 'strangers')] (text-colour:aqua)[This game is a part of the (link: "#SystemsThatCare campaign")[(gotoURL: "https://www.onefuturecollective.org/blog/systemsthatcare-16doa-ofc/")] for 16 Days of Activism to End Gender-Based Violence 2024. It was designed by (link: "Asmita Ghosh")[(gotoURL: "https://www.linkedin.com/in/asmitaghosh18/")] – a digital communications and campaigns specialist working with (link: "One Future Collective.")[(gotoURL:"https://www.onefuturecollective.org/")]]

You’re walking down a busy street in the afternoon. Amid the honking of cars and the chatter of the crowd, two sharp, angry voices cut through the noise. Turning your head, you see a man and a woman in a heated argument. Their words rise above the bustling street, and you catch fragments of their fight: "Guests…food" "Too many restrictions" "SHAMELESS!" The slap that follows is not audible, but keenly visible to you. As though in slow motion, you witness the man's raised hand striking her face. The woman's expression shifts from confusion to shock to anger, her lips tightening into a thin, resolute line. She stops talking as he continues his angry tirade, emboldened by her sudden passivity. People around you glance over but quickly look away, some muttering to themselves, others pretending not to notice. You feel a knot in your stomach as you realize no one is stepping in. The man's voice continues to blare through noise – a promise of further violence. What do you do? • [[Intervene]] • [[Do nothing]] • [[Exit game]]

Deciding to take action in a situation where more than 60% of people would do nothing is a courageous first step – well done! You walk closer to the couple. The man is still talking in a raised voice, while the woman looks self-conscious and upset. She is talking in low tones, evidently attempting to calm him down. What action will you take? • [[Go up and talk to them about something unrelated]] • [[Confront the man about his actions]] • [[Ask somebody else to go talk to them]] • [[Start recording the incident on your phone]] • [[Call the police]] • [[Follow up later]]

You've chosen ''Direct'' intervention as your tactic. Confronting the harm-doer directly is a high-stakes choice. The first key to direct intervention is to assess the situation before you decide to respond—is the harm-doer merely irritated, visibly agitated, or completely out of control? Next, ask yourself the following questions: 1. Are you physically safe? 2. Is the person being harassed physically safe? 3. Does it seem unlikely that the situation will escalate? 4. Can you tell if the person being harassed wants someone to speak up? • [[The answer to all these questions is yes, I want to directly intervene.]] • [[I am not sure this is a wise choice in the circumstance, I want to try another way->Intervene]]

You've chosen ''Delegation''—a great tactic, especially if you feel at risk or don’t feel ready to intervene directly. It involves asking someone else to help, which can ease the burden of intervention while still supporting the person in need. The keys to delegation are: 1. Look for a delegate: Find someone nearby who seems ready and willing to help. This could be a person close to you or someone with authority who’s already present. 2. Be clear and direct: Once you've found someone, explain the situation as clearly as possible and let them know what kind of support you're looking for. For example, you could say, “Can you go over and ask if she’s okay?” or “Could you stand between them to create some space?” Delegation works well because it taps into the power of teamwork—if you can’t directly intervene, having someone else step in allows you to share the responsibility. You could even work together to come up with a plan of action. You scan the crowd for someone to help with this task. You see: • [[A lone man]] • [[A group of people standing in a cluster]] • [[A nearby policeman->Call the police]]

Recording the incident is a useful tactic called ''Documentation''. Before you start recording, you check to see if anyone else is helping the woman. It’s important to prioritize immediate support for her before focusing on documenting the incident. [[Yes, someone is already intervening.]] [[No, nobody is intervening here.]]

You walk up to the woman. Ignoring the man’s angry muttering, you focus entirely on her. "Excuse me, do you have the time?" She looks at you for a brief second, clearly startled, and then checks her watch. "It's 3:45," she replies quietly. You nod in thanks, not acknowledging the situation around you. The man doesn’t seem to react, but the brief distraction gives the woman a moment to collect herself. --- Good instincts! Engaging with the person being harassed is a safer and more effective way to intervene in this situation. By addressing them directly, you help shift the focus away from the harm-doer while offering the victim a moment of relief and the opportunity to express what kind of support they might need. • [[What next?]] • [[Walk away->Exit game]]

Be cautious with involving the [[police]] unless you have the survivor's explicit permission. For some, the presence of law enforcement can escalate the situation or cause more harm, especially if they feel unsafe with the police due to distrust, past experiences, or belonging to a marginalised community. It’s important to prioritize the survivor's wishes in these cases. • [[Choose another delegate->Ask somebody else to go talk to them]] • [[Try another way->Intervene]] • [[Exit game]]

You decide not to intervene. You feel uncomfortable, but you're unsure of what to do or how to help. You watch as the situation unfolds, hoping someone else will step in or that the man will stop on his own. The woman’s distress lingers in the air, but no one around seems to be taking action. While it’s natural to feel uncertain in moments like this, doing nothing often leaves the person being harmed feeling invisible and unsupported. In situations of gender-based violence, it's important to recognize that even small actions – like calling for help, distracting the aggressor, or simply offering support afterward – can make a difference. By choosing not to intervene, you’ve missed an opportunity to help, but there are still ways you can act in the future. Every moment like this is a chance to learn and build your confidence in being a proactive bystander. Do you: • [[Decide to intervene after all->Intervene]] • [[Follow up later]] • [[Exit game]]

Congratulations for going through //The Upstander Effect//. By playing this game, you've familiarized yourself with one or more of the ''5 D's of Bystander Intervention. '' (Right To Be, 2022) ''Distract'' – Divert attention away from the situation without putting yourself at risk. You can engage the person being harassed or create a distraction to give them space to breathe. This helps without directly confronting the harasser. ''Delegate'' – Seek help from someone nearby, especially if you feel unsafe intervening yourself. This could include asking others to step in or involving authorities, but always check with the survivor first, as they may not want police involvement. ''Document'' – Record or take notes about the situation once immediate safety is addressed. Be sure to ask the survivor for permission before sharing or posting any footage, as unauthorized sharing can harm them further. ''Delay'' – If immediate intervention isn’t possible, offer support after the incident. This can involve checking in with the survivor, providing assistance, or sharing documentation if they want it. ''Direct'' – Confront the harm-doer directly by calling out their behavior. Be cautious and assess the level of aggression, as this can escalate the situation if not handled carefully. Always consider your safety. To learn how we can support survivors and build more holistic systems that support them, read One Future Collective's handbook: Planting Dandelions – Supporting Survivors of Gender-Based Violence. • [[Play again->Start]] (text-colour:aqua)[This game is a part of the (link: "#SystemsThatCare campaign")[(gotoURL: "https://www.onefuturecollective.org/blog/systemsthatcare-16doa-ofc/")] for 16 Days of Activism to End Gender-Based Violence 2024. It was designed by (link: "Asmita Ghosh")[(gotoURL: "https://www.linkedin.com/in/asmitaghosh18/")] – a digital communications and campaigns specialist working with (link: "One Future Collective.")[(gotoURL:"https://www.onefuturecollective.org/")]]

Sometimes, the scope of intervention at the moment of violence is limited. The ''Delay'' tactic suggests intervening at a later time, when you have greater resources at your disposal to handle a situation, or when the intervention might be better received. To follow up after an incident, you can hang back at the site of violence and wait until it is safe to approach the woman, or take her aside when the harm-doer is distracted, or [[attempt to get her number->Attempt to get her number]]. You ask if she’s okay and let her know you witnessed what happened and that it wasn’t acceptable. You also offer to help her access resources, make a report, or provide any further support she may need. This delayed check-in gives her space to decide what, if any, action she wants to take. It ensures she knows you’re there for her without further adding to her stress in the immediate aftermath. • [[Ways you can offer follow-up support]]

The man is distracted by his phone and barely acknowledges you as you approach. When you explain the situation, he glances up, looks uneasy, mutters a quick excuse, and hurries away. Solo individuals are often less likely to get involved in such situations, especially if they feel uncertain or don’t want to engage. • [[Choose another delegate->Ask somebody else to go talk to them]] • [[Try another way->Intervene]]

Good choice! A group can be a great option for delegation, as the collective presence often makes people feel more confident and supported in intervening. When there are multiple people involved, there’s less risk for any one person, and it’s easier to take action together. Delegation works best when you clearly communicate what you need from the group. If you can explain the situation and ask them to step in with a specific task, it can make the intervention more effective and safer for everyone involved. • [[You walk over to the group.]]

You manage to land a few blows, forcing the man to back off for a moment. But the victory feels hollow. While he retreats, his anger is far from dissipated. In fact, the confrontation has only fueled his rage, and he’s likely to take that aggression with him. At best, you’ve relieved some of your own frustration, but you’ve done nothing to resolve the underlying situation. The woman is still at risk, and the man’s anger may only worsen when he gets home. • [[Try another way->Intervene]] • [[Exit game]]

The man overpowers you, and the crowd pulls him away. You’re left bruised and shaken, but the damage is done. This physical altercation only worsened his agitation. He storms off, more furious than before. Whether you win or lose, the underlying issue remains unchanged: the woman is still at risk, and the harm-doer’s anger is likely to follow him home, where it could escalate further. The momentary release of tension hasn’t solved anything; it’s only made things worse. Lose-lose. • [[Try another way->Intervene]] • [[Exit game]]

Interrupting the couple is a useful tactic – also known as ''Distraction''. Distraction is a subtle and creative way to intervene without putting yourself at risk. The aim is simply to divert the attention of the harm-doer and momentarily //pausing// the conflict, bringing immediate relief to the victim. Further, it keeps you safe, because no one has to know you are actually intervening in harassment! What tactic do you use to talk to them? • [[Ask the woman for the time]] • [[Ask the man for directions]] • [["Accidentally" bump into the man]]

You walk to the man and ask, "Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the nearest bus stop?" His face darkens, clearly irritated at being interrupted. "Just go straight down the road," he snaps, pulling the woman along with him. He continues to yell at her, ignoring you completely. Oops! Trying to engage the harm-doer when they’re already this agitated usually doesn’t help, and it only increases the tension. • [[Speak to the woman instead->Ask the woman for the time]] • [[Exit game]]

You walk up to the man, your voice firm and sharp as you confront him. "Hey! What do you think you’re doing? Hitting someone in public like this is unacceptable. Stop it right now!" Your tone draws attention from the crowd, and a few people start to linger, watching the exchange. The man glares at you, his posture tense and defensive. "Who do you think you are? This is none of your business!" he snaps, his anger now directed at you. Direct confrontation like this can sometimes shift the focus away from the victim, but it’s also risky—it may escalate the situation and put you at risk. • [[Try another way->Intervene]]

You take a steady breath and approach the man, keeping your tone calm and open, but firm. "Hello, sir. I’m sorry to interrupt. Are you okay? You seem worked up." Empathy and active listening can be powerful tools when dealing with someone agitated. Instead of lecturing or moralizing, you focus on calming him down by showing understanding. "I understand you’re upset. I think your wife is also quite upset, and you’re causing a scene. Can you try to sort this out without violence? Thank you for understanding." You continue on firmly, looking at the woman now. "Ma'am, do you need help?" • [[What happens next?]]

The man bristles at your interruption, his eyes narrowing in annoyance. "Mind your own business," he snaps, yanking the woman roughly by the arm as he storms off. Oops! While empathy and reasoning can sometimes de-escalate situations, this approach works best when the harm-doer is only mildly agitated. At the peak of their anger, they are unlikely to respond to logic or calm words. Next time, consider assessing their emotional state more carefully before attempting a direct intervention. • [[Try another way->Intervene]]

Without hesitation, you walk up to the man and slap him across the cheek. The sharp sound cuts through the noise of the street, drawing the attention of everyone nearby. The man freezes for a moment, stunned. Then his face twists in fury as he takes a step toward you, fists clenched. "Who the hell do you think you are?" he roars. He takes a swing at you, and you barely manage to dodge. Physical confrontation is an extremely risky move, as it can escalate the situation rapidly and turn violent. While it might shock the harm-doer into pausing, it often leaves you and the victim more vulnerable. You and the harm-doer are now involved in a violent scuffle. Do you: • [[Win the fight]] • [[Lose the fight]]

You walk past the man and "accidentally" bump into him. The contact is brief but enough to break his focus. For a moment, his anger falters, and he turns to you, his expression more surprised than furious. This simple interruption is a clever way to defuse the tension. It doesn’t confront the harm-doer directly, but it shifts their attention away from the victim, giving them a momentary pause. The act also draws on the subtle power of public space—suddenly, the man is aware that his behaviour is being noticed, and lowers his voice. • [[What next?]]

You approach the group of people, explaining the situation as calmly as you can. After a brief moment of hesitation, one person steps forward and suggests they act together. The group agrees to help. A group is often a better option than a single person, as the collective presence provides more confidence and less risk for everyone involved. Two people pretend to walk in between the couple, blocking the man’s view of the woman. You and another person walk over to the woman, asking if she’s okay and [[attempting to get her number->Attempt to get her number]]. Yet another person starts [[filming->Start recording the incident on your phone]] the situation. The combined efforts of the group create a shield of distraction and support. The man hesitates, distracted, as the woman has a moment to breathe and assess what she needs. With everyone acting together, the situation is defused without escalating into further violence. The group quietly ensures the woman is safe before stepping back, allowing her the space to regain composure or seek the help she needs. What happens next? • [[Follow up with the woman later->Follow up later]] • [[Exit game]] • [[Play again->Start]]

How do you choose to directly intervene? • [[Speak to him harshly about his behaviour]] • [[Speak to him gently about his behaviour]] • [[Slap him across the cheek without a word]]

If someone is already intervening, then you can further support the woman by recording the incident. You pull out your phone and discreetly record, ensuring you capture clear evidence of the man’s violent behavior while respecting the woman’s privacy. This documentation could serve as a crucial resource if she decides to pursue any action later. You now have an incriminating video in your possession. What do you do with it? • [[Post it online]] • [[Ask the woman what she'd like to do with it]]

If no one else is intervening, recording the incident without helping the woman may cause more harm than good. It might make the woman feel as though her suffering is being turned into a spectacle, increasing her sense of trauma and helplessness. • [[Try another way ->Intervene]]

Angry at the man’s behavior, you upload the video online. It quickly goes viral, with people identifying the man, bombarding his social media, and pressuring his employer to act. Days later, he’s fired. But then, the woman contacts you, furious that you shared her vulnerable moment without consent. She explains how this exposure humiliated her further and made everything worse. Posting someone’s traumatic experience without their consent is no way to be an effective bystander. Being harassed is already disempowering—publicizing the event can deepen the harm, making the survivor feel even more vulnerable. If the footage goes viral, it can expose them in ways they may not want and force them into situations they’re not ready for, like legal proceedings or public scrutiny. Always ask for consent before using documentation. • [[Try another way->Intervene]] • [[Exit game]]

You [[discreetly exchange contact information->Attempt to get her number]], letting her know you’ve recorded the incident and will share the footage with her later. Later, she reviews the video and thanks you for documenting the incident. She tells you she’s not ready to involve others but appreciates that you respected her decision instead of acting without her consent. By asking her, you empowered her to choose how to handle the situation—a crucial step in providing real support. Documentation is only effective when it centers the needs and agency of the person harmed. • [[Follow up later]] • [[Exit game]]

streetsounds: https://www.onefuturecollective.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/busy-village-market-square-in-india-196334.mp3

The distraction creates a brief pause in the argument, giving you a moment of relief. But deep down, you know the confrontation will likely pick up again as soon as they’re out of sight. Don’t be too hard on yourself—interrupting an altercation, even momentarily, is no small feat. It can offer the person on the receiving end a moment of respite, a tiny break in a cycle of abuse. Breaking that cycle completely, however, takes more than just a single act. Still, there's more you could do. Do you: • [[Try another way of intervention->Intervene]] • [[Attempt to get her number]] • [[Walk away->Exit game]]

You decide the best way to offer meaningful support is to follow up with her later, away from the tense and potentially dangerous presence of the man. To do that, you need her contact information. How do you approach this? • [[Write "Please call me" on your card and discreetly pass it to her or slip it into her purse before leaving.]] • [[You calmly walk up her and in a matter-of-fact tone, say, "I’d like to check in with you later. Can I have your number?"]]

The police form an integral part of carceral justice systems, which are focused more on punishing harm-doers than reducing harm. In particular, people from marginalised communities, which are already oppressed by multiple social structures like those of caste, class, religion, gender, sexuality, etc., are vulnerable to physical, sexual or emotional custodial violence, or violence perpetrated by the police. At best, calling the police in a situation where someone from a vulnerable community is involved may result in apathy and disregard, as is the case with domestic violence, where the police may describe it as a ‘personal matter’ and refuse to intervene. At worst, it may lead to violence intended to ‘break it up’. This violence is often justified with explanations such as, ‘they (a particular group) are known to be quarrelsome and only listen to the language of violence,!’ or ‘they are used to this!’ While calling the police to break up a conflict and ensure the safety of those involved may seem intuitive to some, this may not always be what ends up happening. Yes, for someone who is well-connected with the police or belongs to a social group that isn’t regularly criminalised, the police may be a viable support option. But in this scenario, we do not know much about the woman at all! In fact, by calling the police without consulting with her, you may have worsened her position. Remember, your intervention should always prioritise the safety and needs of the person you are trying to prevent harm for.

Following up after an incident and ensuring that a victim of violence has the support they need can make a world of difference. It helps them meet any immediate needs, as well as plan for their safety and to mitigate further harm. A few examples of the kind of things you can ask the woman about are: ''• Do you need any help?'' This allows her to independently determine if and how she needs help. ''• Are you okay?'' Psychological first aid in the form of a listening ear that can help them process the incident and prepare for safety after can be crucial. ''• Can I help you call someone you trust? '' This offers her a chance to lean on her own trusted support network if she has one, should she need emergency shelter, money, or anything else. You can act as a supportive intermediary to help her take that difficult first step of asking for help. ''• Are you hurt?'' It is important to meet any urgent medical needs, like bleeding, broken bones, or another time-sensitive physical injury. You can also offer to call an ambulance if the injury is major and no first-aid is available, and accompany them to the nearest hospital and assist with hospital staff with registration for emergency treatment. ''• How can I help keep you safe after this? May I refer you to an NGO or legal counsellor? '' This is an advanced step - after you have met any urgent needs, it is useful to plan for safety going ahead and mitigate harm, especially if the harmdoer is a partner, friend or family member whom the victim may come in contact with again. You can also help them create a ''safety plan'', that includes details such as: • How can they reach out to you during an emergency? • How often should you check in on them? What forms of communication would they prefer? • What to do in case they are not responding to you? How long should you wait before you call for external help? • Who can your friend contact in an emergency, if they are unable to reach you? • What to do if the situation escalates? Are there neighbours around them that can provide emergency intervention and/or support? Is it okay to reach out to the police? ''• Do you want to register a complaint?'' Offering them the option to file a formal complaint can help in case the victim does want to pursue legal action, to which an FIR or other formal complaint may be the first step. //Not all instances of violence are the same, neither are all victims. These are only a few suggestions to help you respond to any emergency needs.// [[Intervene another way->Intervene]] [[Exit game]]

You take a deep breath and calmly approach the woman, making sure to keep your tone steady and neutral. The man is distracted for the moment, so you seize the chance. "I’d like to check in with you later," you say in a matter-of-fact tone, careful not to draw unnecessary attention. "Can I have your number?" The woman hesitates for a brief moment, then nods. She recites her number softly, and you quickly type it into your phone. "Thank you," you say, keeping your voice low and your demeanor calm. "I’ll reach out to you soon." • [[You call her later that evening.]]

You pull out a small card and jot down your phone number with a simple note: "Call me if you need help." Glancing around to ensure the man’s attention is elsewhere, you step close to the woman. As you gently pass the card to her—placing it in her hand or purse—you meet her eyes briefly, offering a look of understanding. She takes the card without a word, her expression unreadable. Wow! A master of subterfuge. Sharing your number with the woman gives her the maximum agency in deciding whether or not she wants your support. What does she do? • [[She calls you.]] • [[She never calls you.]]

The woman calls you later that evening, her voice hesitant but steady. You thank her for reaching out, reassuring her that you’re there to listen. Using [[active listening techniques]], you make sure to focus entirely on her words, letting moments of silence encourage her to share at her own pace, ensuring she feels heard, supported, and safe. She admits that she is in an abusive partnership. You acknowledge her courage in opening up, validating her feelings without judgment."That sounds incredibly difficult," you say gently. "You’re not alone in this, and whatever decision you make, it’s your choice. I’m here to support you." • [[You offer her your support. ->Ways you can offer follow-up support]] You talk for some more time and then hang up the phone. Even if no immediate action is taken, this conversation plants a seed of support and agency, showing her she has someone who believes in her and her capacity to make the best choice for herself.

The woman never ends up calling you. You think about her sometimes, and wonder why she didn't call – but know that she could have had many reasons not to. Maybe she didn't know if she could trust you, or maybe she didn't want any help at the time. Many survivors also find it dificult to leave an abusive household or partner. At an individual or community level, factors that might prevent surviors from moving out can include lack of social/community support, indadequate finances or financial dependence. At a structural level, these factors can include unaffordable housing and a culture of victim-blaming. • [[Learn how you could offer support if you're ever in such a situation again->Ways you can offer follow-up support]] • [[Exit game]]

Here are some techniques to keep in mind while practicing active listening: 1. ''Paraphrasing'' involves restating what you heard in your own words to ensure understanding and provide the opportunity for correction if needed. This could include phrases or questions like “So if I understand correctly, you're saying..” or “What I gather from what you're saying is…” 2. ''Reflection'' involves acknowledging the emotions expressed by the peer support seeker and showing empathy and understanding. This could include phrases like "It sounds like you're feeling..." or “This seems really important to you. . .” 3. ''Summarising'' involves providing a brief recap of the key points shared by the peer to ensure mutual understanding and clarity. This could include phrases like "Let me make sure I've got this right. Y ou've talked about..." or “So, just to recap…” 4. ''Minimal encouragers'' involve using brief, positive prompts to keep the conversation going and show you are listening — for example, “Umm-hmmm,” “Oh?” “I understand,” “Then?” “And?” 5. ''Giving feedback'' involves offering initial thoughts and sharing pertinent information, observations and experiences on the situation. This could include phrases like "I appreciate you sharing that with me..." 6. ''Emotion labelling'' involves identifying and labelling the emotions expressed by the peer support seeker to demonstrate empathy and understanding. This could include phrases like "It seems like you're feeling..." or “ “I’m sensing that you’re feeling …frustrated. . . worried. . . anxious. . .” 7. ''Probing'' involves asking open-ended questions to draw the peer support seeker out and get deeper and more meaningful information — for example, “What do you think would happen if you... .?” or "Can you tell me more about..." 8. ''Validation'' refers to acknowledging the peer support seeker’s experiences, problems, issues, and feelings to show empathy and support. This involves actively reaffirming their experiences and not solely offering solutions. Validating statements could look like "It's completely understandable that you would feel..." or “ “I appreciate your willingness to talk about such a difficult issue. . .” or “That must be so hard for you, I am sorry.” 9. ''Withholding judgment or criticism'' of what is being shared can go a long way in establishing a secure relationship between peers. The aim is to make the peer feel accepted and encourage them to open up.

You call her later that evening, and she picks up after a few rings. Her voice is cautious as she greets you, but you take a moment to reintroduce yourself and gently remind her of your earlier interaction. You tell her you want to offer her support to the best of your ability, but it is entirely her choice on how to proceed. The woman takes a moment to respond. "Thank you for your concern." So, does she want your help or not? • [[She asks you for your help.]] • [[She declines your help.]]

The woman responds slowly. Her tone is polite but firm as she says, “I appreciate you calling, but I don’t need your help. There's nothing more you can do, so you let it go. But you do think about her sometimes, and wonder why she didn't call. You know that she could have had many reasons not to. Maybe she didn't know if she could trust you, or maybe she didn't want any help at the time. Many survivors also find it dificult to leave an abusive household or partner. At an individual or community level, factors that might prevent surviors from moving out can include lack of social/community support, indadequate finances or financial dependence. At a structural level, these factors can include unaffordable housing and a culture of victim-blaming. • [[Learn how you could offer support if you're ever in such a situation again->Ways you can offer follow-up support]] • [[Exit game]]

The woman takes a deep breath and thanks you for your kind offer. You agree to speak later at a time and place that is safe for her to talk to you. In your next conversation, the woman tells you about her abusive partnership, and how she struggles with how to cope with it. “Thank you,” she says. “It means a lot to have someone to talk to.” You use [[active listening techniques]]to ensure she feels heard, supported, and safe. You acknowledge her courage in opening up, validating her feelings without judgment."That sounds incredibly difficult," you say gently. "You’re not alone in this, and whatever decision you make, it’s your choice. I’m here to support you." • [[You offer her your support. ->Ways you can offer follow-up support]]